Aval Oru Thodarkathai...

The first time I heard this song, I was no more than 10. Of course, at that age, my not relating to the song was nothing surprising. The second time I watched the movie and the song scene, I must have been in my 20s. Then too, it seemed just like another good song, one that reflected on the life of a woman who did not seem real to me. Nevertheless, a good song, I thought.

It was only when I heard it again in my mid 30s did I realise...that such women do exist, and that sometimes, stories depicted in movies and songs are really stories of people like you and I...stories of real people, with real stories to tell, and real lives to live...

The "Spiritual Quest" of Three Brothers...

I stumbled upon this movie as I was aimlessly walking around in a video store this morning. Just finished watching it a while ago. A delightful movie, I must say. A wonderful way to meaningfully spend a lazy saturday evening...

Blinded by Ignorance...

I had always prided myself on being a caring, conscientious person. Today, I realised otherwise.

I was selecting a photograph among the ones I had taken during my recent trip to Srisailam, India. My heart nearly stopped when I zoomed into the picture below for the first time since I took it.




While I was busy snapping away, feeling all grand and elevated that I was this "different and realised" woman who saw beauty in the most simplest of people (the tendency to feel that you are interestingly different tends to overwhelm even the most sensible person when you are in remote parts of india where people who live simple, unaffected lives look at you - the tourist with a huge camera hanging around her neck - in amazed interest), I was blinded by my own ignorance and subconscious arrogance to not notice that the man facing my camera was not watching my antic in all calmness, but instead was asking me for some money through his upturned palm. I remember walking away after that utterly delighted with myself for having taken an interesting photograph. I wonder now if I even turned back to look at the man...

Honestly, I did not think I had so much of ignorance in me, till now.I just feel sick with myself after I realised that a while ago. That moment busted all the ego I had in me till then, and gave me a totally different perspective of life.

I wish I could return to that moment, and give that man what he wanted that could have given him a little joy, momentary though it could have been...

Words of Wisdom On Joy & Misery...

Delicious Ambiguity...

I wanted a perfect ending...
Now, I've learned the hard way
that some poems don't rhyme,
and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.
Life is about not knowing,
having to change,
taking the moment and making the best of it,
without knowing what's going to happen next.
Delicious ambiguity.

Gilda Radner, 1946-1989
American Comedienne

I Stand Alone...

I know the sound of each rock and stone
And I embrace what others fear
You are not to roam in this forgotten place
Just the likes of me are welcome here

Everything breathes and I know each breath
For me it means life
For others it's death
It's perfectly balanced
Perfectly planned
More than enough for this man

Like every tree stands on its own
Reaching for the sky I stand alone
I share my world with no one else
All by myself
I stand alone

I've seen your world with these very eyes
Don't come any closer, don't even try
I've felt all the pain and heard all the lies
But in my world there's no compromise

Like every tree stands on its own
Reaching for the sky I stand alone
I share my world with no one else
All by myself I stand alone
All by myself I stand alone
All by myself I stand alone

I Found Myself This Afternoon...

I found myself this afternoon...

I stopped suddenly ,
and stepped into the back of my mind,
and sat there quietly
watching myself,
all still,
staring into space,
thinking how life would now be.
Now that I,
(the "I" that's being watched )
am standing
at the crossroads of life.

That was when
I realised
that that was not I,
no,
that was she,
she whom I can do without,
she who is within me only due to familiarity.
I realised then,
that I am no more she,
and that I am this new being,
who has the awareness to step within,
as and when it (as genderless as this being within is) wishes,
and observe life as an outsider.

I clasped my hands then,
in deep gratitude,
to the one above.
in deep awareness,
of the greatness above.
I saw then, within me,
a part of Him,
that would from now on be always there,
guarding me with all its greatness,
embracing me in all its awareness.

Indeed I have found myself this afternoon...