A Poem That Caught My Fancy...

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

© 1995 by Oriah House, From "Dreams Of Desire"
Published by Mountain Dreaming, 300 Coxwell Avenue, Box 22546, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4L 2A0

I Am Gone Man, Solid Gone...

To Be More Accepting of Life...

I can't say that I have been a very righteous person in the past 39 years of my life. Neither have I lived my life as usefully or meaningfully as some people have. Flaws I have many. Mistakes I have made aplenty. And many a time I had reflected on my life trying to list my achievements - only to find the attempted list failing to form itself, not out of modesty but out of its recognition of truth. It's not been easy, of course - living the life of an underachiever who is incidentally trapped in the mind, heart and soul of a big dreamer.

With age comes wisdom, some say. While I would never dare describe myself as even remotely wise, I must admit that I do these days sense in myself a stronger presence of my inner voice.

I grew up among lovely people who raised me on very strong values, but with those values they also added generous dashes of judgmental tendencies. It seemed like an enlightened thing to do then, this sizing up of others in comparison to what we believed to be acceptable or proper - not that we did it with the intention to hurt or ridicule anyone - there was not a single cruel bone in any one of us. But we thought we knew better than others. Perhaps, in some areas we did. But looking at it these days from the perspective of this 40-year old body, heart, mind and soul, I realise how wrongly we had interpreted wisdom then.

Who are we really to pass judgments based on what we believe to be right, or based on what our elders believed to be true. For that matter what is truth except that which appears truer to one person, more than it does to another? Why can't we live life in total acceptance of all that surround us, allowing what we view to be unpleasant to change on its own accord, if at all change is necessary. Only when we come to the realisation that every person who crosses our path is a teacher in some way or other,and that the lessons they have to offer can enrich us, if not now, at some point in our lives - only then can we confidently say that we understand ourselves and the world better.

We are but a mirror of all that surround us, what we see in others are possibly present in ourselves too. If only we have the humility to acknowledge that, life will offer valuable lessons by the minute, making us love ourselves more, which in turn would add joy to our life, and to those who form a part of that life.

As I end this post, I am reminded of one of Chandrababu's songs that I listen to regularly on my way to work. One of its stanzas goes like this,

Annaiyin kaiyil aaduvathinbam
Kanniyin kaiyil saaivathuminbam
Thannai maranthaal unmayil inbam
Thannalam maranthaal perumpaerinbam

Indeed, the true state of selflessness can only be achieved if one becomes more accepting of life in all humility...

The Magic of the Mellifluous Malayalees...

More than two decades ago, Chitra came into Tamil cinema with her honey-dipped voice and mesmerised tamil song lovers into giving her absolute command of tamil cinema songs for years. Before her, there was Vani Jayaram who may not have sung as many songs as P. Suseela or S. Janaki but had a decent following of her own, especially among those who had an inclination towards semi classical music.

Recently, listening to newcomer DeepaMiriam sing the infamous Kangal Irandal in an almost effortless divine voice, and remembering the fact that the man with the voice that soothed many a generation since his first song for tamil cinema Naanum Bommai Neeyum Bommai, KJ Yesudas, also hailed from God's Own Country, I cannot help but be convinced that the ownership of hauntingly sweet voices is the right of Malayalee singers alone. Adding weight to the list would be people like Unni Menon and Jayachandran, also Malayalee singers who probably had maintained a rather low profile but not without living their mark with a remarkable repertoire.

What is it that these Malayalee singers possess in their voices, I wonder...

The Many Faces of the late Sivaji Ganesan...

Found this on tamilnation.org and thought it was a lovely tribute to Sivaji Ganesan's greatness.

Footprints in The Sand...

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

Come Here...

There's wind that blows in from the north.
And it says that loving takes this course.
Come here. Come here.
No I'm not impossible to touch I have never wanted you so much.
Come here. Come here.
Have I never laid down by your side.
Baby, let's forget about this pride.
Come here. Come here.
Well I'm in no hurry. Don't have to run away this time.
I know you're timid.
But it's gonna be all right this time.

The Ultimate Riddle...

Nandhavanathil oru aandi avan
Naalaaru maathamai kuyavanai vendi
Kondu vandhan oru thondi
Adhai koothadi koothadi pottudaithaandi

Happy Valentine's Day...

Azhagendra Sollukku Muruga...

FileFactory.com

Discovering Kada-vul - Beyond and Within...

I have a love-hate relationship with Lord Muruga.

When I was a toddler, I was raised on Murugan songs. I say I was raised on songs instead of prayers because as a child, devotional Murugan songs appealed to me and moved me more than prayers did. Now as an adult, I understand why that was so. Singing, or hearing others sing praises of the lord is the simplest way to feel HIM within you, whether or not you want to. That probably explains why every Hindu saint is known to have composed some devotional song or other. And so, I grew up singing or hearing murugan songs sung by renowned singers from India. Sirgazhi Govindarajan, Bangalore Ramani Ammal, and Pithukuli Murugadas (a blind singer) were my classic favourites where Murugan songs were concerned. They had that special magic in their voices, and listening to their songs moves me to ecstatic tears even at this age.

Later, when I was in my teens, I became influenced by what was the "in thing" then among spiritualists, and ended up chanting Hare Krsna and believing that Krsna alone was God.

It's amazing how, among people born of the same faith, there exists a false sense of superiority about our 'gods'. The vaishnavites insist that Krsna/Vishnu alone is the saviour of the world, and yet would not mind saying hello in passing to the saivite gods - Muruga, Shiva, Vinagayar - which is often done with the same kind of sympathy the stronger often has for the weaker. The staunch saivites, on the other hand, stick to what they know best and worship their 'gods' with an almost fanatical devotion, allowing their faith to be infiltrated with the 'fairer gods' only when absolutely unavoidable.

I believe that faith too, like all else in one's life, can only be perfected over time, with experience. That which is fed to us by our parents can only remain true and applicable up to a certain phase of our lives. One's faith/spirituality is a very personal experience and can only be truly discovered on one's own.

There will come a time in our lives when we sense a closer connection to one in particular of the many gods we had been brought up on, or even to one we had not been familiar with till then. There is a term in thamizh - "ishta deivam" (the god who is close to your heart). That is not to say that the other gods who are not your 'ishta deivams' are unreal. They are all just as real as they are unreal to some.

But what is real to you is the one truth that you hold close to in your heart - the one whom you know you can turn to for inner guidance, the one you know and believe to direct your every action and thought, the one whose mere name fills your being with sheer ecstasy...

Angum Ingum...

Please turn a blind eye to the atrocious subtitling and enjoy the video in all its originality...

Blind I Am...

Blind to the fears of those around me,
I walk 'through' them unaffectedly
Pushing them off-balance as I go.

Could we have a little chat about my rebirth please...

If there is such a thing as rebirth, and if I am ever destined to be born yet again and again, I earnestly wish to be born in Tamil Nadu, and Tamil Nadu alone. This I tell YOU now, just in case I forget to in my old age, senility possibly having taken control of my mind then.

Sway with Michael Buble...