I thought I was above it all...
Beyond all that was around me,
Things, people - that which existed and that which did not.
Thought that I had surpassed the bonds of love,
and had become numb to all around me.
Consciously severing all ties,
from the depth of my heart,
with the steadfastness of a recluse,
who goes in search of himself by shedding all that's not him.
Alas,
little did I know,
that as much as I tried to break away,
there was one force I had around me then, that had the power,
to break the fake shackles that was guarding the walls of my world,
penetrate through my numbness,
and touch me in ways I had not allowed anyone to touch in the longest time.
Today,
I stand humbled,
Reshaped by her passing,
into the helpless foetus that I was when I floated freely in her womb.
Today,
I stand fully aware of the truth,
That the greatest power in the world,
is the power you allow her to have,
over you and over all that surround you,
For she is afterall,
the ultimate source of your life,
The source which you clung close to for survival,
As she grew you into existence.
Amma,
little did I know then,
that I love you this much.
Watching you struggle as you breathed your last few breaths,
I found myself being reborn again,
from outside your womb,
as a mother to the child that you then had become.
As you humbly nodded to all my assurances,
and struggled to utter a childlike yes each time,
I found myself humbled from the core of my being,
And all I wanted to do then was to hold you,
and give you the breadth of life that you gave me...
...the day you brought me into this world.
Rest in peace amma,
Rest assured that my love for you will keep me going strong,
And help me scale, with sheer ease, the greatest of heights I may face.
Rest well in pride,
that you had given your daughter a new birth
by giving up on yours...
